Man, under-destruction?

 My apologies for the disappearance, folks. While I wish I could say it was because I've been out and about, having a grand ol' time on this auspicious and truly liberating time of the year.....truth be told, I just got bored, tired and monumentally cranky. So, for those who've been waiting anxiously for this recent installment, while I do regret the delay, I seriously urge you all to get a new hobby.  So, now that I got that out of the way.........those of you who know me know that I got stories. Seriously, I've got some of the craziest, most insane stories you will ever hear. And truth be told, as fantastic as these stories may be, I literally have no way of proving they actually happened. I can only tell you that this shit is just too crazy, too weird and too stupid to make up.   I am about to tell you such a story. However, this happened to someone else, someone near and very dear to me and who has given me their permission to tell this tale (for any lawyer/le...

 I honestly don't know why I dog on Jean-Claude Van Damme. As far as diversity goes, he's practically a Renaissance man. The man's Belgian, speaks fluent french, has studied both Shotokan Karate and Kickboxing & was a bodybuilder (who still looks remarkable at age 52). And if that wasn't enough, he studied ballet. Some might scoff at this, but as the man himself once said, "Ballet is an art, but it's also one of the most difficult sports. If you can survive a ballet workout, you can survive a workout in any other sport," (having seen virtually every episode of "So you think you can dance", which displayed more than its fair share of ballet, I'm inclined to believe the man).  For his entire career in action films, he only has 2 pieces of work that I haven't outgrown. The first being his contribution to the "Street Fighter" soundtrack, when he was in the video for the song "Straight to my feet" (by M.C. Hammer and D...

 Picture this......a young boy sitting next to his younger sister at a playground, both of them staring off into space and having meaningless conversations about the inanities and absurdities of life. No, we're not talking about 2 pot heads who got baked in a public area. We're talking about 2 small children just doing their thing. The younger sister produces a pack of skittles from her pocket and offers to share them with her brother (yes, quite a Kodak moment, right?). Now, the brother, being somewhat of an oddball, graciously accepts, but has difficulty deciding on which skittle he likes the best. The red had a potency that he found delectable, the orange felt natural and nutritious (did I mention he was an oddball?), the yellow had the same direct zest of lemons, the green was unique, the blue was a disappointment despite it being his favorite color and the purple was......well, who doesn't like purple? After trying each one and not being able to reach a decision, he pr...

I don't know why, but for some reason I'm not really a fan of the Family Guy. I guess it could be because I've always preferred The Simpsons for as long as I could remember. That is not to take away anything from Seth Macfarlane, who  successfully  took a knack for voices and turned it into an animation-empire, for lack of a better term. And, like any other story, a certain evolution and sense of character development has occurred, which has included the strengthening of the relationship between Peter Griffin, Cleveland Brown, Glenn Quagmire & officer Joe Swanson (I think, as far as openings go, this is probably the most appropriate for this subject matter).  Before I continue, I must  reiterate that this piece is not a cheap shot at anything or anybody. It's simply me expressing an observation of what I've experienced during my time here. It is NOT an attempt to disrespect anyone nor is it me singing praises about anything. As I've mentioned countless t...

 Every country, every culture, every people on this rock that we inhabit has its own drink or beverage that they make. It's not only part of their culture and tradition, but one could make the argument that it's also an element of their identity. The Russians have vodka, the Greeks enjoy ouzo, the Irish with their whiskey, the Italians with their vino, the Germans got beer (thanks for Oktoberfest, by the way) and the Americans with..........well, I'm sure the yanks have made their own contributions in the field of adult beverages and alcohol addiction.  We Eritreans are not picky with our liquor, though the older generation are partial to Greek Ouzo. But, traditionally, we enjoy home-made beer called Suwa and a honey-concoction called Mess, which are both fixtures at any random celebration in any random house hold in both Eritrea and Ethiopia (with whom we share a great many cultural similarities......*sigh). And if there ever is a time for it, today would be ...

 I've always had a fantasy of being on Saturday Night Live, a.k.a. SNL. I think it started when I was a little boy. Of course, in order to get the full picture, you'd have to imagine me as a young boy. Simply take a mental image of me as I am today, but instead of a 5'10'' Eritrean man, imagine a small, chubby, nappy-headed kid with droopy eyes and a safety blanket. Seriously, I went everywhere with that thing. I wonder whatever happened to it??   Yes, I'm nostalgic like that sometimes.....DON'T JUDGE ME!!   Anyways, I've always appreciated stand-up comics and I've never been one to stick to one particular genre or artist. I've enjoyed white, blue-collar humor from the likes of Robin Williams, Bill Engvall & Jeff Foxworthy, foreign-influenced, culturally diverse humor from Russell Peters, Ahmed Ahmed & Maz Jobrani, provocative humor from Margret Cho, political satire from Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert & Lewis Black, just to name a...

 Did I ever tell you guys the story of how I met the love of my life? It was in a hospital gift shop. She was this beautiful, charming, sexy........oh wait, that wasn't me. Lemme start over.  Once upon a time, I collapsed in a bar and was rushed to the hospital where I spent a few weeks under observation. While there, I was attended to by a male nurse, who was pretty cool, except for one small detail. He spent quite a bit of time whining and moaning about a girl that he like, who happened to work at the hospital gift shop. He spent 3 days, tending to my requirements, while offering such detailed descriptions of how wonderful she was and how he would deem himself lucky to even spend one evening in her company, stressing that he would be a gentleman and respect her. Eventually, I had finally had enough and I, politely, suggested that instead of telling me all this, he should tell her. He responded by saying he had no idea how to profess his desire for her. So, I naturally sugge...