Man, under-destruction?

 I've always had a fantasy of being on Saturday Night Live, a.k.a. SNL. I think it started when I was a little boy. Of course, in order to get the full picture, you'd have to imagine me as a young boy. Simply take a mental image of me as I am today, but instead of a 5'10'' Eritrean man, imagine a small, chubby, nappy-headed kid with droopy eyes and a safety blanket. Seriously, I went everywhere with that thing. I wonder whatever happened to it??   Yes, I'm nostalgic like that sometimes.....DON'T JUDGE ME!!   Anyways, I've always appreciated stand-up comics and I've never been one to stick to one particular genre or artist. I've enjoyed white, blue-collar humor from the likes of Robin Williams, Bill Engvall & Jeff Foxworthy, foreign-influenced, culturally diverse humor from Russell Peters, Ahmed Ahmed & Maz Jobrani, provocative humor from Margret Cho, political satire from Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert & Lewis Black, just to name a

 Did I ever tell you guys the story of how I met the love of my life? It was in a hospital gift shop. She was this beautiful, charming, sexy........oh wait, that wasn't me. Lemme start over.  Once upon a time, I collapsed in a bar and was rushed to the hospital where I spent a few weeks under observation. While there, I was attended to by a male nurse, who was pretty cool, except for one small detail. He spent quite a bit of time whining and moaning about a girl that he like, who happened to work at the hospital gift shop. He spent 3 days, tending to my requirements, while offering such detailed descriptions of how wonderful she was and how he would deem himself lucky to even spend one evening in her company, stressing that he would be a gentleman and respect her. Eventually, I had finally had enough and I, politely, suggested that instead of telling me all this, he should tell her. He responded by saying he had no idea how to profess his desire for her. So, I naturally suggested