EveryBODY matters

 I have a personal belief regarding humanity. Everybody’s ugly when they’re 13 years old. Now, this isn’t based on science, although I could cite adolescence and the effect of which it has on the human body, but it's based more on personal experience, both my own and those of others that I’ve encountered along the way. Personally, puberty was a suckfest for me. I spent all of high school looking weird to say the least. If I were to describe myself, I would say that I was exceptionally skinny. Of course, that would be an understatement of the highest caliber. An appropriate description would be that I looked like an extra from “The Walking Dead”. In fact, if I had been in high school during the initial casting of the show, I’d probably have been casted for the role of a random zombie, for which I really don’t know how I would have reacted should that have actually occurred.

 Anyways, a dear friend and fellow blogger posted something a little while back to the same effect, but from the opposite side of the physical spectrum. She spoke of the time she spent obsessing over her perceived physical imperfections and the emotional roller coaster it put her on throughout her life. Although I can’t truly understand why she would feel that way (trust me, if you saw her, you would understand my confusion), I do understand where she’s coming from.

 For as long as can be remembered, a perception of acceptable physical beauty has always been conceived and reinforced by virtually every iteration of civilization since its intellectual and artistic dawn. A person could only be perceived as physically appealing if he or she adhered to a specific template. Women have to be thin. Women have to be big. Women have to be curvy. Women have to have specific marks. Women have to have their hair in a certain way. The list goes on and on.

 However, the male template has always been the same. Big, strong, muscular. Now, while this is obviously necessary in some respects, the importance that society has placed upon it has been nearly insane. Like with weight loss plans and supplements for women, the huge array and variety of enhancements, work out equipment and methods for men have been quite staggering. 

 So, let’s set the record straight. Yes, I was skinny. I’ve graduate to being acceptably thin. I’ve been working hard to bulk up since lord knows when. But none of that matters if I can’t accept certain truths about myself. Any physical enhancements are irrelevant if one doesn’t have the mindset to appreciate themselves outside of their physical context. We are more than what we bench press or how well we fill a pair of apple bottom jeans.

 Our worth as individuals should be predicated solely on the fact that we’re contributing members, not just to society, but to its inhabitants as well. While one can make the argument that people will always flock towards the hot chick or the hunk with the 6 pack, it’s purely superficial. Looks go. Muscles get weaker. “Assets” sag. These are the inevitabilities that we deal with in this chaotic cosmic experiment called Life.

 We don’t need to be better physically. We don’t need to have bigger pecks or longer legs or a high squat record. We need to accept that our definition of physical perfection is, for lack of a better word, imperfect. Sure, it would be nice to be able to fill out a muscle shirt or a pair of short shorts and think to ourselves “damn, I look good”. But, there’s a lesson to that.

 We grow older. Our bodies give out. They wrinkle and turn gray. While it’s unpleasant and often unsightly, it’s meant to serve a purpose. The lesson is that in life, we gravitate towards souls, minds & hearts. A beautiful body is pleasant, but ultimately worthless if the heart that drives it is as black as night or the mind within it is as dull as dirt.

 True beauty is often within. Just as with physical beauty, it’s not the same for everyone. What one finds appealing, others will definitely find off-putting. But, it’s there, if we bother to look. But that’s the problem. We don’t because we’re not taught to.

 I guess if I had to try and sum up what this little tirade was about, I’d say that before we can begin to find that inner beauty, we need to accept the idea that it comes in different packages. Folks are different. People are unique. Bodies are individual. Instead of shaming and ostracizing those for their inability or unwillingness to conform, let us celebrate them.

 So, whoever is reading this. Look yourself in the mirror, take in all your qualities and flaws and say to yourself that you are beautiful. After all, we can’t be loved by others unless we learn to love ourselves first.