After all this time....
I haven't gotten that many Christmas gifts in my life. I dunno if that comes as a surprise to some, but it's true. It's not due to some general dislike that I've been faced with over the years. I guess I can just chalk it up to dumb luck. But, I've had a few and I've been grateful for them. One of my favorite gifts has been a book that I got from a person who has become quite a fixture in my life. It was a novel entitled "Shantaram". It's the true story of Gregory David Roberts, a convicted Australian bank robber and heroin addict who escaped from Pentridge Prison & fled to India. The novel was commended by many for its vivid portrayal of the tumultuous life in Bombay. Personally, I've found refugee in the fact that, despite his unorthodox life, Mr. Roberts has, and continues, to bestow remarkable wisdom upon me.
I open with this because of an incident that occurred earlier this evening involving my friend from my previous entries, the sad sap who broke up with his girlfriend. As always, I beg your indulgence.
My friend happened upon my doorstep earlier this evening with a pathetic smile on his face and a bottle of Captain Morgan. Now, despite my better judgement, I ushered him in, partly because I didn't have the heart to turn him away, partly because I knew he needed a shoulder to cry on, but mostly because I was in the mood for some rum (for those of you who know me, yes I haven't given up that particular poison.....as for the rest of you, don't judge me). As I welcomed him in, he quickly made himself at home, helping himself to a freshly baked cheesecake that I made, grabbing glasses, my bottle of Cola and a lime, fixing us both a cocktail of coke'n'rums, before settling down on my sofa and making small talk.
After the initial pleasantries were discarded I proceeded to down my drink, before boldly, and admittedly rudely, inquiring as to why he decided to grace me with his presence now, more than a month since his last "session" with me.
My friend, though not the sharpest tool, has always had an eloquence with words, specifically due to him saying exactly the right thing at the right time, to serve his point, whatever it may be. And, at that moment, the only thing he said to me was "....it's been months and I still can't stop thinking about her.....when will I stop thinking about her"?!?!
Of course, my friend, being an intellectual "one-minute-man", couldn't keep up with his train of thought and proceeded to drink himself into a state that would redefine the word "stupor". In fact, had it not been for the coincidental phone call I received from another friend with a car, he'd still be here, probably passed out on my couch, bottle in hand, snoring loudly while making noises due to whatever dream he was having at the time (I can only pray its not a dream that involved any nudity).
As I shoved my friend in the back of the car and saw him off, I couldn't help but wonder, yet again, about the albeit pathetic nature of his statement. For those of you unfamiliar with this, allow me to explain.
My friend had broken up with his girlfriend sometime over the summer, due to reasons of mistrust and insecurity. Naturally, being the alcoholic-in-training that he is, my friend took to drinking to block out the pain, though any idiot with an ounce of experience in that regard will tell you that it's the wrong thing to do.....but then, who actually listens to reason at that particular time? After his break up, he came to me on several prior occasions, trying to understand just why he still could not get over this young lady and the loss of his relationship. And while I did my best to comfort him, and prevent him from experiencing alcohol poisoning, the truth is, I couldn't really do anything for him.
As for this latest "session", I found myself wondering how is it that, after all these months, he still hasn't been able to move on. Perhaps its the nature of true love, assuming that's what they had. Perhaps its simply human nature's refusal to accept that which has occurred. While I can spend the whole night speculating, it changes nothing.
But, perhaps there is an explanation as to why he continues to feel this. A quote, from the aforementioned book, by the aforementioned author gave me some insight. And while it may not be entirely applicable, I find that it is, in fact, relevant. And it is with that, I end this blog entry, pondering this latest episode of my friends' life, and mine. Perhaps, there is some truth to what is written. And if so, then it sure would explain a whole hell of a lot. But then, life's never supposed to be that simple.
-One of the reasons why we crave love, & seek it so desperately, is that love is the only cure for loneliness, & shame, & sorrow. But some feelings sink so deep into the heart that only loneliness can help you find them again. Some truths about yourself are so painful that only shame can help you live with them. And some things are just so sad that only your soul can do the crying for you.
My friend happened upon my doorstep earlier this evening with a pathetic smile on his face and a bottle of Captain Morgan. Now, despite my better judgement, I ushered him in, partly because I didn't have the heart to turn him away, partly because I knew he needed a shoulder to cry on, but mostly because I was in the mood for some rum (for those of you who know me, yes I haven't given up that particular poison.....as for the rest of you, don't judge me). As I welcomed him in, he quickly made himself at home, helping himself to a freshly baked cheesecake that I made, grabbing glasses, my bottle of Cola and a lime, fixing us both a cocktail of coke'n'rums, before settling down on my sofa and making small talk.
After the initial pleasantries were discarded I proceeded to down my drink, before boldly, and admittedly rudely, inquiring as to why he decided to grace me with his presence now, more than a month since his last "session" with me.
My friend, though not the sharpest tool, has always had an eloquence with words, specifically due to him saying exactly the right thing at the right time, to serve his point, whatever it may be. And, at that moment, the only thing he said to me was "....it's been months and I still can't stop thinking about her.....when will I stop thinking about her"?!?!
Of course, my friend, being an intellectual "one-minute-man", couldn't keep up with his train of thought and proceeded to drink himself into a state that would redefine the word "stupor". In fact, had it not been for the coincidental phone call I received from another friend with a car, he'd still be here, probably passed out on my couch, bottle in hand, snoring loudly while making noises due to whatever dream he was having at the time (I can only pray its not a dream that involved any nudity).
As I shoved my friend in the back of the car and saw him off, I couldn't help but wonder, yet again, about the albeit pathetic nature of his statement. For those of you unfamiliar with this, allow me to explain.
My friend had broken up with his girlfriend sometime over the summer, due to reasons of mistrust and insecurity. Naturally, being the alcoholic-in-training that he is, my friend took to drinking to block out the pain, though any idiot with an ounce of experience in that regard will tell you that it's the wrong thing to do.....but then, who actually listens to reason at that particular time? After his break up, he came to me on several prior occasions, trying to understand just why he still could not get over this young lady and the loss of his relationship. And while I did my best to comfort him, and prevent him from experiencing alcohol poisoning, the truth is, I couldn't really do anything for him.
As for this latest "session", I found myself wondering how is it that, after all these months, he still hasn't been able to move on. Perhaps its the nature of true love, assuming that's what they had. Perhaps its simply human nature's refusal to accept that which has occurred. While I can spend the whole night speculating, it changes nothing.
But, perhaps there is an explanation as to why he continues to feel this. A quote, from the aforementioned book, by the aforementioned author gave me some insight. And while it may not be entirely applicable, I find that it is, in fact, relevant. And it is with that, I end this blog entry, pondering this latest episode of my friends' life, and mine. Perhaps, there is some truth to what is written. And if so, then it sure would explain a whole hell of a lot. But then, life's never supposed to be that simple.
-One of the reasons why we crave love, & seek it so desperately, is that love is the only cure for loneliness, & shame, & sorrow. But some feelings sink so deep into the heart that only loneliness can help you find them again. Some truths about yourself are so painful that only shame can help you live with them. And some things are just so sad that only your soul can do the crying for you.
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