Valentines...Passion...Romance
For those of you who never saw that particular episode, or who may have had a portion of their brain removed, today's theme is the popular misconceptions of Valentine's Day. Personally, it's not a day that I hold in high regard. Perhaps it's because I fail to see the point in shelling out and fully expressing my love for someone on one particular day when I could do it on that day and the 364 other days of the year. Maybe it's because of the outrageous and subtle capitalism, where everyone from your local flower vendor to the guy outside the gas station with the weird smell will try to cash in on that particular day to score an extra buck. Some would even believe it might have something to do with a disaster of a valentine's day date I had planned with someone that was supposed to be a romantic dinner for two, but ended up being a hysterically hilarious theater production with a cast of over half a dozen, for which I paid a dear price, in money and dignity (Do I sound bitter......probably, but then again, why jump to conclusions now when we can wait until the end of this little tirade?).
But, for the sake of clarification, let's look at this day. It is when every poor, hapless fool (yes, it's unisex) make arrangements to meet up with their special someone, exchange gifts of a personal/selfish nature and spend the rest of the evening engaging in acts deemed appropriate for "couples". Of course, said acts can include anything from shoving chocolate-covered strawberries into each others mouths to engaging in unorthodox, yet co-ed acts, such as the aforementioned, though I would not recommend this to anyone and to those who are considering or have considered this, seriously, seek help.
However, the problem with these ideas is that they're mitigated by expectations that, on this night, aspects of the relationship should go from 0-to-60 in 0 seconds flat, that the night should be full of stars, the ambiance just right, the sexy meters on our respect someones should be higher than usual and all that jazz. This actually reminds me of a movie line that I remember from a "non-romantic" international thriller......"the difference between reality and fantasy? Fantasy has to make sense". What that means is, reality is exactly that. It is what it is and what this is is impractical.
However, as a writer, I can personally vouch on certain aspect of romance being true. Case in point, the meet-cute. Now, as writers know, the meet-cute is the point in a story where the main love interests meet. Now, contrary to popular believe, these events are pivotal, yet unique. They can not be just two people bumping into each other and striking up a conversation. In fact, the best romantic stories have had uncommon meeting points. An example.....a guy and a lady walk into a department store, both looking for a pajama set. They both reach for the last set at the same time. They stare at each other for a moment, before breaking the ice. "I just need the top," says the woman. "I just need the bottom," says the man. And it's that moment, that inescapable moment, where the magic begins and this pair will begin their dance, which will eventually culminate into lord knows what. I've had my share of these encounters (which have involved the internet more than they should have, I'm ashamed to say....relax, they weren't booty calls). And evidently, I had been responsible for one or two, namely that of a male nurse and a hospital employee, both of whom I met while I was being hospitalized.....but that's another story for another time. But, I will mention that my involvement in their little dance helped steer them into the right direction, thanks to some appropriately placed poetry, provide by me. No, I wasn't playing cupid, just a guy with some spare time on his hands, on account of his hospitalization.
The point here, in the romantic scheme of things, is that the essence of Valentine's day is to celebrate & strengthen the relationship through the re-igniting of the passion and romance. And yet, that's a clear swing and a miss. Don't get me wrong, I encourage everyone with a special someone to rejoice in the fact that another person desires to spend time with them, despite whatever unattractive faults they may have. But, that aspect of romance alone is simply impractical. Romance is not the lights and the candles. It's not wine and roses. It's not feeding each other chocolate covered berries, or in some cases, carefully selected & cooked portions of kosher meat. Passion is the intensity of the feeling one has in the heat of romance. Romance is a moment. That one defining moment when we're in the presence of someone we care for and all of time stands still. That moment where nothing else matters, no one else matters, being anywhere else is unthinkable, because ultimately, we're here, now, with them. They are moments that can last a mere fraction of a second or for all eternity. How long is anyone's guess. But then, it's never about the quantity, but the quality, isn't it? Why have more of one thing when you can have something better?
So, to those who spent it with someone special, kudos to you. Sure, I may be jealous, but that jealousy will be short-lived soon enough.
And to those other souls who were without "valentines", buck up. Screw the system. We're the masters of our own fate and all that. I know it doesn't give much comfort, but I can give you all solace in two quotes that I will leave you with.
"No winter lasts forever, no spring skips its turn" -Hal Borland" Can I have you attention please? We’re all here tonight because we have no one to be with, but this doesn't make us mutants. The only mutants here are in these comic books. Let us stop defining our self-worth by whether or not we’re in a relationship. You know what I see when I look around? I see a room full of great people. So let’s give ourselves a break. We are a community and as long as we have each other we’re never truly alone." -Dr. Rajesh Koothrepali (Kunal Nayyar)
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