Coming on too strong
Who watches "Family Guy"? It's an interesting show, isn't it? I mean, take a man like Seth Macfarlane, a college frat boy who "grew up" in a loose sense of the word, allow his adolescent mind to wander into varying realms of insanity, thus culminating with the creation of a whole world that seems like a suburban moms nightmare and suddenly you have a hit T.V. show.....admittedly, one that was not without its share of controversy, competition and ultimate difficulty.
I find that each character seems to represent different aspects and dysfunctions of the everyday regular man. Take Peter Griffin, an overgrown child with a peter pan-complex who refuses to grow up, Glen Quagmire, a pervert who makes Albert Desalvo, a.k.a. the Boston Strangler, look like a chiorboy, Cleveland Brown, a misrepresentation of everything potentially wrong with African-America and so on.
But, for all the characters on the show, it fails to portray "the irritation", that guy who, despite his efforts to be charming and suave, comes across as anything from "coming-on-too-strong" to creepy and possibly even disturbing.
Once again, this is not what it seems. I'm not opening with this as a personal attack on Mr. Macfarlane's "masterpiece", but it's to speak on behalf of THAT guy.
Now, I speak of this because of a recent conversation I had with an individual who fit the bill, in regards to that description. Now, without delving into too many details, the person in question is, for all intents and purposes, an average guy. He works, plays, relaxes, hopes, dreams, loves, wants to be loved, hopes to find love and so on. However, what makes him different is that, despite his best efforts, the normal protocols of social interaction seem to escape him. Now, this is not to say he's a complete moron when it comes to conducting himself in polite company, but rather he seems to lose himself in the course of conversation, regressing to such a state of relaxtion in such a short time (literally 0-to-60 in 0.0 seconds flat) that he will literally say exactly and directly what's on his mind, assuming that it will be well-received because of the supposed "rapport" he has achieved with his counter-parts.
Now, naturally people are, essentially polite in polite company. Meaning that they will be courteous and perhaps even smile (which the aforementioned may misinterpret as acceptance) while contemplating the best way to excuse themselves from the conversation, albeit politely, though that would be optional after a point. Of course, despite how hurtful that may appear, people can not be blamed for that. Afterall, we should "never over-estimate a person's capacity for acceptance" (Paul Hoffman, "The Left Hand of God"). Besides, no matter how cool you are with people, nobody wants to hang with a weirdo.
So, when brutally confronted with this fact, I took my friend aside and proceeded to explain to him that, though his intentions were well enough, some people may not be totally open to such a direct and forceful overflow of openess and confidence in another. I further attempted to explain to him that, sometimes, a degree of reservation wouldn't be such a bad thing, that certain things should, initially at least, be left a mystery until such time when revealing said mystery would be advantageous, in terms of achieveing further bond and emotional interaction.
Naturally, this conversation went over well with my friend. His initial reaction was to curse me to hell and back, followed by an attempted-forceful shove and an invitation to engage in a MMA-like affair between me and him......by the way, alcohol was involved during the course of this interaction, so hopefully that should shed some light on his strong response to my criticism.
Now, fast forward to the next day. My friend approached me and, after initial rebukes towards conversation, completely broke down and attempted to speak to me. He began by apologising for his reaction to my criticism, following up by re-affirming that he appreciated any and all criticism I had to give him, for he believed I did so with the best of intentions. He continued by explaining how he doesn't understand how what he says or does comes across as weird, despite his best efforts to achieve the opposite.
The rest of the conversation will not be mentioned due to the fact that anything said from hereafter was said in confidence. But, an assessement can be made.
I WAS WRONG. No, I was not wrong in bringing this fact to his attention. He has been screwing up and he needed to hear this. No, my mistake was automatically assuming that this was just some guy who had no control of his mouth. In fact, he was simply a sensitive, albeit lonely soul, seeking companionship and failing miserablly in his pursuits. So, with failure came the inevitable insecurity, followed by fear of never-ending loneliness and isolation. Toss all these into a pressure cook and suddenly you have a hiroshima-like bomb ready to detonate at a moment's notice.
I get it. Ultimately, we just want to be accepted for who we are. Admittedly, some may achieve more success in this than others and those who do not....well, they rectify or deal however they can. Maybe it's soceity's failure, maybe it's mommy and daddy's fault, maybe the schools should be blamed for failing to provide these folks with the tools to engage.....it's up in the air.
But, I guess the point is, maybe it's not all his fault. Sure, we can argue that there are ALWAYS CIRCUMSTANCES, but that's not what I mean. Sure, we're all responsible for ourselves and we gotta handle ours however which way, but....maybe some folks just need help. Hell, we've made comedy movies of helping the geek find his inner MAN. Why not in real life? No, I'm not suggesting we start some dumbass bootcamp for weenies. Instead acknowledge that the ones who tend to make the worst first impressions are usually the ones trying their hardest to make the best first impression. So, cut them a break. Sure, we don't get points just for effort, but we should be cut some slack for having the best intention.
Then again, I know this isn't acting. You don't get points for just doing it. But, you should get credit for taking the initiative. Then again, who am I to judge? I'm hardly credible.
I find that each character seems to represent different aspects and dysfunctions of the everyday regular man. Take Peter Griffin, an overgrown child with a peter pan-complex who refuses to grow up, Glen Quagmire, a pervert who makes Albert Desalvo, a.k.a. the Boston Strangler, look like a chiorboy, Cleveland Brown, a misrepresentation of everything potentially wrong with African-America and so on.
But, for all the characters on the show, it fails to portray "the irritation", that guy who, despite his efforts to be charming and suave, comes across as anything from "coming-on-too-strong" to creepy and possibly even disturbing.
Once again, this is not what it seems. I'm not opening with this as a personal attack on Mr. Macfarlane's "masterpiece", but it's to speak on behalf of THAT guy.
Now, I speak of this because of a recent conversation I had with an individual who fit the bill, in regards to that description. Now, without delving into too many details, the person in question is, for all intents and purposes, an average guy. He works, plays, relaxes, hopes, dreams, loves, wants to be loved, hopes to find love and so on. However, what makes him different is that, despite his best efforts, the normal protocols of social interaction seem to escape him. Now, this is not to say he's a complete moron when it comes to conducting himself in polite company, but rather he seems to lose himself in the course of conversation, regressing to such a state of relaxtion in such a short time (literally 0-to-60 in 0.0 seconds flat) that he will literally say exactly and directly what's on his mind, assuming that it will be well-received because of the supposed "rapport" he has achieved with his counter-parts.
Now, naturally people are, essentially polite in polite company. Meaning that they will be courteous and perhaps even smile (which the aforementioned may misinterpret as acceptance) while contemplating the best way to excuse themselves from the conversation, albeit politely, though that would be optional after a point. Of course, despite how hurtful that may appear, people can not be blamed for that. Afterall, we should "never over-estimate a person's capacity for acceptance" (Paul Hoffman, "The Left Hand of God"). Besides, no matter how cool you are with people, nobody wants to hang with a weirdo.
So, when brutally confronted with this fact, I took my friend aside and proceeded to explain to him that, though his intentions were well enough, some people may not be totally open to such a direct and forceful overflow of openess and confidence in another. I further attempted to explain to him that, sometimes, a degree of reservation wouldn't be such a bad thing, that certain things should, initially at least, be left a mystery until such time when revealing said mystery would be advantageous, in terms of achieveing further bond and emotional interaction.
Naturally, this conversation went over well with my friend. His initial reaction was to curse me to hell and back, followed by an attempted-forceful shove and an invitation to engage in a MMA-like affair between me and him......by the way, alcohol was involved during the course of this interaction, so hopefully that should shed some light on his strong response to my criticism.
Now, fast forward to the next day. My friend approached me and, after initial rebukes towards conversation, completely broke down and attempted to speak to me. He began by apologising for his reaction to my criticism, following up by re-affirming that he appreciated any and all criticism I had to give him, for he believed I did so with the best of intentions. He continued by explaining how he doesn't understand how what he says or does comes across as weird, despite his best efforts to achieve the opposite.
The rest of the conversation will not be mentioned due to the fact that anything said from hereafter was said in confidence. But, an assessement can be made.
I WAS WRONG. No, I was not wrong in bringing this fact to his attention. He has been screwing up and he needed to hear this. No, my mistake was automatically assuming that this was just some guy who had no control of his mouth. In fact, he was simply a sensitive, albeit lonely soul, seeking companionship and failing miserablly in his pursuits. So, with failure came the inevitable insecurity, followed by fear of never-ending loneliness and isolation. Toss all these into a pressure cook and suddenly you have a hiroshima-like bomb ready to detonate at a moment's notice.
I get it. Ultimately, we just want to be accepted for who we are. Admittedly, some may achieve more success in this than others and those who do not....well, they rectify or deal however they can. Maybe it's soceity's failure, maybe it's mommy and daddy's fault, maybe the schools should be blamed for failing to provide these folks with the tools to engage.....it's up in the air.
But, I guess the point is, maybe it's not all his fault. Sure, we can argue that there are ALWAYS CIRCUMSTANCES, but that's not what I mean. Sure, we're all responsible for ourselves and we gotta handle ours however which way, but....maybe some folks just need help. Hell, we've made comedy movies of helping the geek find his inner MAN. Why not in real life? No, I'm not suggesting we start some dumbass bootcamp for weenies. Instead acknowledge that the ones who tend to make the worst first impressions are usually the ones trying their hardest to make the best first impression. So, cut them a break. Sure, we don't get points just for effort, but we should be cut some slack for having the best intention.
Then again, I know this isn't acting. You don't get points for just doing it. But, you should get credit for taking the initiative. Then again, who am I to judge? I'm hardly credible.
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