Badge of Honor

 Has anybody ever seen a movie where a black person would be threatened with having "the black smacked outta them"?? It made sound slightly racist, but the idea is quite humorous. And it's impossible....isn't it? The answer, my good people, is no, it is not, for I am living proof of that. Hahahaha.
 Seriously tough, I've had a mild case of Vittiligo, which has plagued me for a good, long while now. It's quite interesting, especially since some folks have attested that it gives me "character". As flattered as I am by that, I would've preferred something a little less conspicuous, like a faux-hawk or lip-piercings that would've made me look like a retarded duck, but as per usual, I'm digressing. An interesting effect of this has been the constant comparisons that have been made with me and Michael Jackson (R.I.P.), which has "colored me flattered" (excuse the pun). Sure, I love to sing, dance and can be a great big kid sometimes, but I have neither a spending problem nor accusations of "inappropriate behavior". But, on a serious note, one thing that has been a complete bitch, is that this condition has, for the time being, been an obstacle in my pursuit of body ink or tattoos.
 Now, growing up, I've always been the "good kid". I got good grades, stayed out of trouble helped out around the house, ate my vegetables (the ones I couldn't give to the dog anyways), said my prayers and took care of my siblings (as best as I could anyways). As I got older, I was more or less the same way. Kept my nose in the books, stayed out of trouble, didn't drink nor smoke and I was as polite & respectful as a subordinate sucking up to his boss. I was such a "square" that I can honestly say that I didn't start dating until my freshmen year of college (granted, because of a few clerical liberties, I was skipped a few grades and was 16 by then, but still, its embarrassing when you say it out loud). And I was content.
 But I wasn't happy. Sure, it may have been because I didn't have as many friends that I could relate to. It may have been because I had my share of crushes. Or, it maybe have been because, as my people sprout "oppression" against certain individuals, I felt that exact same thing. Personal, aesthetic oppression. Granted, it was not intended by those responsible, nor was it meant to be detrimental. But the effects were the same nonetheless.
 I didn't have the feeling, the confidence to explore. I was put in a box, allowed to roam outside it occasionally, and then sent back in there. I worked hard, I impressed many, did my folks proud, because labelled as "a gentleman" (imagine that word in an Eritrean accent, and you'll feel the cringe) and even enjoyed the elevated sense of respect from those stationed above me, but I wasn't happy. I wasn't me.
 I once said how amazing it was, where and when you can have an epiphany. Well, when I left "home" and came here, I had mine, which would be the first of quite a few. By stepping out on my own and finally disregarding the desires and expectations of others, including those I love and who love me, I was able to expand my horizon and explore. I discovered that, like I was as a child, I am heavily in-tuned with music and dancing. I have aspirations of learning how to play the acoustic guitar and piano. I want to write a script for a comedy show. I want to go bungee jumping again....and again.....and again, followed by sky-diving and every other dumb ass thing I can think of that will get my heart thumping and my adrenaline overflowing until I am wired for life, like a strung-out junkie.
 But for now, I've taken it slow, with simply a pair of pierced ears and a single bungee jumping experience. But, its a start. I choose to live my life, for me, by me and by MY rules. My expectations have not changed. I aspire to be the best. To make something of myself and to be able to look myself in the mirror and be proud of the man staring back.
 And I will have my ink, which will not simply be decorative. They will be dedications to the things, to the ones, that have kept me strong, that have shown me love, that have pushed me to excel, that have made me who I am and will motivated me towards who I shall become.
 My art will be for them. My ink will be my shout-out to them. My tattoos will be my badge of honor, in honor of them. I shall wear them proudly and lovingly. And they shall be the sole reminder of something I won't, and shouldn't forget, they are always with me.......and they'll look cool too. Seriously, that's important too, right?? ;-)