I'm no Saint!
When I was a kid, I was an avid viewer of “Martin”. It
was a situational comedy or Sitcom starring comedian Martin Lawrence. Lawrence
would pull an “Eddie-Murphy” (a term we used to describe a production of sorts
where a key actor/actress played multiple roles), playing several characters on
the show, requiring various degrees of make-up and props. The main character he
played was Martin Payne, a radio DJ working for the fictional radio broadcast service
W.Z.U.P., which he would usually work into his on-air segments by greeting
listeners with “Whaddup, whaddup, WZZZZUUUUPPPPP!!!”
Now, one might wonder why I’m starting off with an ode to a random 90’s-era TV show, but there’s a reason. For those of you who know me and who read this, I’ve been on hiatus for a while. So, I use this as an off-ramp for this piece. So, in the spirit of the aforementioned, WZZZZZZUUUUPPPP!!!
Sup, folks. Hope all is well wherever you are or call home. I trust the holidays have been wonderful to you all. Anyways, a brief summary of what I’ve been up to. I’ve been quite busy since the end of the summer, having moved to the big city, started grad school, found a job and a new place to live. Essentially, I’ve been trying to “move on up” (like the Curtis Mayfield song). I honestly feel like a young Carrie Bradshaw from “Sex in the city”. No, I don’t feel like a 20-something female trying to navigate the treacherous landscape of dating in the big city (though I do sometimes feel like I can relate). I’m more like a kid in a really, really big candy store, just going through things and trying to experience them. Of course, any initial desire of having monumentally pivotal experiences have been diminished due to the responsibilities of inner-city living, i.e. working hard to pay for life in the big city. But, I’ve also had the pleasure of making new acquaintances (though regrettably I can no longer continue to maintain some of the previous acquaintances I acquired beforehand, but that’s another story for another time).
However, my extended literary R&R isn’t the story I wish to share here. Seeing how it’s Christmas, I had hoped to share a story truly befitting for this occasion. Alas, I’ve failed in doing so. I simply have a tale of a happy coincidence, which I hope to share with all of you.
Now, considering the rather insane cost of living that city-life demands, I had been forced to seek refuge in slightly less-than-desirable accommodations, though they’re hardly as bad as it might sound here. So, I moved into a place with house-mates, some of whom are quite colorful. One in particular is a bit of an enigma, being a devote Christian with a bit of a past. But, I’m putting the cart before the horse.
Having moved from a somewhat spacious apartment to a single room, I found space being a bit of a precious commodity. Therefore, any chance of getting rid of something is always welcomed, having justified it by simply reminding myself that I’ll always be able to get “better” stuff in the future. A key example of which being clothes, which I seem to have an abundance of. Now, before you begin to think of me as a fashion-nut, a clothes-whore or even a hoarder, I beg you to take into account that I’ve always been raised to never wastefully discard anything, lest I might need it in the future. Hence, the need to keep most of my garments, except for a few articles that I deemed useless or beyond salvation.
At the same time, the holiday season came around and I found myself wondering how to spend the time. Naturally, my first instinct was to spend it with family and loved ones, but given current circumstances, that wasn’t a viable option (don’t cry for me…..it is what it is). Hence, I considered volunteering at a local establishment, donating my time and energy to help those less fortunate. However, that planned was blown to hell due to the fact that I spent so much time working prior to the holidays that I failed to ascertain where and how I might donate myself to such an endeavor. Hence, I was at a bit of a dead-end street.
Now, back to the aforementioned. Having given up the idea of being charitable during the holidays, I resigned myself to just working hard up to the day and then relaxing through it. On the day of Christmas Eve, I found myself at home with nothing to do. So, after cleaning and polishing up my room, I proceeded to go through my closet and weed the grain from the chaff, so to speak. I took out the items of clothing I no longer deemed necessary or desirable. I put them aside, along with two pairs of sneakers (stylish but somewhat ragged) and packed them into bags. Contemplating my options, I simply decided to toss them in a “dumpster-like” bin, provided by the local chapter of the Salvation Army, who would most probably distribute them among the poor and needy. Just as I was about to do so, my house-mate, the aforementioned devote Christian, came upon me, feeling down, complaining of a sense of having no purpose. Having seen the bags full of clothes in my hand, he inquired what I planned on doing with them. After I had explained to him what I intended on doing, he suggested I give them to him. He suggested that he could distribute them himself among several people who he knew to be needy. Happily, I relinquished my hold of my material possessions and wished him a pleasant evening.
Now let’s fast forward to the next day, Christmas day. I woke up, not seeing it as anything special, hoping to simply avoid joyous people and be left alone. While having breakfast in our shared kitchen, my house-mate came to me and expressed a feeling of revitalization, claiming that my donation gave him a sense of purpose, albeit temporarily. By giving him my “gifts”, he was able to help others by donating them to the less fortunate. He thanked me for my donation and we shared a brotherly hug. As he left, going about his business, I was left with a feeling of confusion.
Folks, I try to be humble. I’m a lot of things. A LOT of things. But, I’m not a saint. I’ve never tried to be nor have I ever claimed to be. As I’ve mentioned time and again, I’m simple an asshole with an opinion, though that’s hardly the entirety of it. I’m a good person who wakes up every morning with the intention of being a better person than he was when he went to sleep the night before. I fail more often than I succeed and I’ve made mistakes. LOTS of mistakes. But, I’m human and I’ll own up to them, given a chance.
My point is, I didn’t feel that sense of accomplishment by my “act”. First of all, I simply relinquished items I no longer needed. I didn’t donate them to charity nor did I physically give them to anyone, aside from my house-mate, by why split hairs? Secondly, I did so for purely selfish & pragmatic reasons. I didn’t need them and I needed the space they were taking up for other more required items. So, I got rid of them, plain and simple.
Now, I’m not looking for validation nor am I seeking approval or encouragement. I believe that if I can make the world a better place, even for just ONE person, for ONE brief moment, I will have had a life worth-living. While I do make my share of mistakes, I can only hope to make up for that, thereby restoring some balance in the universe (if you believe in that).
Bottom line, I’m still an asshole. But, I’m also a good person, and contrary to popular belief, there’s usually no “either/or”.
So, to those who may take offense or who I have offended or I will offend in the future, I sincerely apologies.
For those of you who have received my “contributions”, I hope they serve you well.
And for those of you reading this, have a merry Christmas. Let’s be kind to one another.
Now, one might wonder why I’m starting off with an ode to a random 90’s-era TV show, but there’s a reason. For those of you who know me and who read this, I’ve been on hiatus for a while. So, I use this as an off-ramp for this piece. So, in the spirit of the aforementioned, WZZZZZZUUUUPPPP!!!
Sup, folks. Hope all is well wherever you are or call home. I trust the holidays have been wonderful to you all. Anyways, a brief summary of what I’ve been up to. I’ve been quite busy since the end of the summer, having moved to the big city, started grad school, found a job and a new place to live. Essentially, I’ve been trying to “move on up” (like the Curtis Mayfield song). I honestly feel like a young Carrie Bradshaw from “Sex in the city”. No, I don’t feel like a 20-something female trying to navigate the treacherous landscape of dating in the big city (though I do sometimes feel like I can relate). I’m more like a kid in a really, really big candy store, just going through things and trying to experience them. Of course, any initial desire of having monumentally pivotal experiences have been diminished due to the responsibilities of inner-city living, i.e. working hard to pay for life in the big city. But, I’ve also had the pleasure of making new acquaintances (though regrettably I can no longer continue to maintain some of the previous acquaintances I acquired beforehand, but that’s another story for another time).
However, my extended literary R&R isn’t the story I wish to share here. Seeing how it’s Christmas, I had hoped to share a story truly befitting for this occasion. Alas, I’ve failed in doing so. I simply have a tale of a happy coincidence, which I hope to share with all of you.
Now, considering the rather insane cost of living that city-life demands, I had been forced to seek refuge in slightly less-than-desirable accommodations, though they’re hardly as bad as it might sound here. So, I moved into a place with house-mates, some of whom are quite colorful. One in particular is a bit of an enigma, being a devote Christian with a bit of a past. But, I’m putting the cart before the horse.
Having moved from a somewhat spacious apartment to a single room, I found space being a bit of a precious commodity. Therefore, any chance of getting rid of something is always welcomed, having justified it by simply reminding myself that I’ll always be able to get “better” stuff in the future. A key example of which being clothes, which I seem to have an abundance of. Now, before you begin to think of me as a fashion-nut, a clothes-whore or even a hoarder, I beg you to take into account that I’ve always been raised to never wastefully discard anything, lest I might need it in the future. Hence, the need to keep most of my garments, except for a few articles that I deemed useless or beyond salvation.
At the same time, the holiday season came around and I found myself wondering how to spend the time. Naturally, my first instinct was to spend it with family and loved ones, but given current circumstances, that wasn’t a viable option (don’t cry for me…..it is what it is). Hence, I considered volunteering at a local establishment, donating my time and energy to help those less fortunate. However, that planned was blown to hell due to the fact that I spent so much time working prior to the holidays that I failed to ascertain where and how I might donate myself to such an endeavor. Hence, I was at a bit of a dead-end street.
Now, back to the aforementioned. Having given up the idea of being charitable during the holidays, I resigned myself to just working hard up to the day and then relaxing through it. On the day of Christmas Eve, I found myself at home with nothing to do. So, after cleaning and polishing up my room, I proceeded to go through my closet and weed the grain from the chaff, so to speak. I took out the items of clothing I no longer deemed necessary or desirable. I put them aside, along with two pairs of sneakers (stylish but somewhat ragged) and packed them into bags. Contemplating my options, I simply decided to toss them in a “dumpster-like” bin, provided by the local chapter of the Salvation Army, who would most probably distribute them among the poor and needy. Just as I was about to do so, my house-mate, the aforementioned devote Christian, came upon me, feeling down, complaining of a sense of having no purpose. Having seen the bags full of clothes in my hand, he inquired what I planned on doing with them. After I had explained to him what I intended on doing, he suggested I give them to him. He suggested that he could distribute them himself among several people who he knew to be needy. Happily, I relinquished my hold of my material possessions and wished him a pleasant evening.
Now let’s fast forward to the next day, Christmas day. I woke up, not seeing it as anything special, hoping to simply avoid joyous people and be left alone. While having breakfast in our shared kitchen, my house-mate came to me and expressed a feeling of revitalization, claiming that my donation gave him a sense of purpose, albeit temporarily. By giving him my “gifts”, he was able to help others by donating them to the less fortunate. He thanked me for my donation and we shared a brotherly hug. As he left, going about his business, I was left with a feeling of confusion.
Folks, I try to be humble. I’m a lot of things. A LOT of things. But, I’m not a saint. I’ve never tried to be nor have I ever claimed to be. As I’ve mentioned time and again, I’m simple an asshole with an opinion, though that’s hardly the entirety of it. I’m a good person who wakes up every morning with the intention of being a better person than he was when he went to sleep the night before. I fail more often than I succeed and I’ve made mistakes. LOTS of mistakes. But, I’m human and I’ll own up to them, given a chance.
My point is, I didn’t feel that sense of accomplishment by my “act”. First of all, I simply relinquished items I no longer needed. I didn’t donate them to charity nor did I physically give them to anyone, aside from my house-mate, by why split hairs? Secondly, I did so for purely selfish & pragmatic reasons. I didn’t need them and I needed the space they were taking up for other more required items. So, I got rid of them, plain and simple.
Now, I’m not looking for validation nor am I seeking approval or encouragement. I believe that if I can make the world a better place, even for just ONE person, for ONE brief moment, I will have had a life worth-living. While I do make my share of mistakes, I can only hope to make up for that, thereby restoring some balance in the universe (if you believe in that).
Bottom line, I’m still an asshole. But, I’m also a good person, and contrary to popular belief, there’s usually no “either/or”.
So, to those who may take offense or who I have offended or I will offend in the future, I sincerely apologies.
For those of you who have received my “contributions”, I hope they serve you well.
And for those of you reading this, have a merry Christmas. Let’s be kind to one another.
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